I want to lose weight, I really do … BUT I LOVE TO EAT.

What do you think how did I get to this magnificent fluffy look? It took me years to get all these curves and layers around my tights, waist, arms. And trust me it is not an easy job. It is really hours and hours spent eating and drinking: in the restaurants around the world tasting different dishes and flavors, in my mom’s kitchen, tasting all my sister’s delicious experiments with food, and then there are cakes…but let’s not talk about the cakes just yet.

People who know me would probably tell you that I don’t care much about my body image and that I am ok with the way I look. And for the most part it is really true. I have never suffered (too much) because of the way my body looks. I accepted it the way it is and made the best out of it. Or lets say I manage to convince myself that it is like that.

But let’s be honest about it, it is never as easy and doesn’t really work like that all the time.

There are days when I really don’t care, I am ok with the way I look. I will dress up for the occasion, I will go to the beach, simply enjoy myself in everything I do. Life is wonderful. But then there are days when I hate my body so much that I feel miserable, uncomfortable, insecure and I cry myself to sleep…or just eat chocolate because chocolate really solves all the problems …or so it seems at the time. And anything can trigger these feelings – going shopping in a skinny store, looking myself in the mirror, someone says something about it…really anything. And I really don’t like feeling that way, nobody does.

I am 41 years years old, and for years I didn’t practice dieting as I don’t believe in any form of it. All those diets you read about might help you instantly lose weight, but it is instant and most likely in a matter of days all you have lost will be back, sometimes even doubled, or tripled. Trust me, “been there, done that”. For years I didn’t really even try to lose weight, instead I was telling myself that all is good, and I am on the same weight and there is nothing I can do about it…as always, truth was a bit different. I was gaining weight constantly and I ended at 133kg (over 260 pounds )…but if you expect me to say now that it was my turning point, you are wrong…I would totally ignore that, again and again, and again, pretending it doesn’t matter, because remember “there is nothing I can do about it”…right!?! And then something just have happened…

I strongly believe that things in life happen with a reason and at the time when we are ready for them. I guess that this year was when I was ready for changes. Now, when I really think about it, I realize that a lot of things have been leading to this – almost three years ago on my way from South Africa I decided that I won’t be drinking soda anymore (I was drinking liters of it) and I had my last (plastic) glass of Coca Cola on that plane (some other time I will tell you more about that struggle as well). I stopped eating sweets every day. Thanks to my friend Maria I started eating breakfast and stopped eating cakes for a while (that part didn’t last long I have to admit). So, it wasn’t just: “Ok, let’s lose weight”, it was a lot of smaller things that led to all that is happening now.

I always knew that losing weight is not a few months diet program. It is a complete change of your mind setting and a life style. I knew that if I want to do it, I need to change it all, and change it for good. And that is (probably) the reason why I never really wanted to do it, as I wasn’t ready to give up on all the fun stuff, especially the food I loved. As I told you before – I really love to eat. I enjoy cooking, baking and all that fun stuff you do in the kitchen, I love my mom’s cuisine, and my sister’s delicious meals. I work on a cruise ship and I have a favorite restaurant or two in every port I have visited (over 80 different countries…you do the math). I enjoy food and I didn’t want to give up on all of it, or most of it…and you know what, I realized that I don’t really have to.

It is a bit over 4 months now that I have implemented some simple and some not so simple changes in my daily routine and I am already 18kg down to the initial weight. I will share with you my story on losing weight and this tryout to change my lifestyle for good. I still don’t have all the answers, and sometimes I don’t have a clue what I am really doing, therefore if you expect me to tell you a diet plan, or a miraculous way to lose weight, that won’t happen. I am doing my best day after day and all I know is that I really want to succeed. What works for me, doesn’t really have to work for you, but I challenge you to try things and share your story. I will share my success stories, my failures, tips and tricks, and of course some yummy recipes as we go along and If you want to join, hit that follow button and welcome aboard on this unpredictable and amazing journey.